thoughts

I suppose if I really think about it, this place doesn't really feel like home either. It feels..temporary. Will I ever be able to settle down? One could wonder if it was because this is a rented place and not my own but I am worried it wouldn't make a difference. Unless maybe I would find an absolutely perfect apartment that I could and would buy. Would that make me feel more settled? Perhaps we'll never know. At least I'd need more things to make this more complete. The big wall still looks very unfinished, bare even. It needs more but I can barely buy food.. I bought 11kgs of food and drink today. Spent a fortune. I should be able to live on all of that for at least 2 weeks if I'm smart about it. I might not be though. If I knew where I stand in this job situation I suppose I wouldn't be so worried. Halloween on Monday and there's nothing I can do about it... November coming soon.. At least I have sangria!