..

I've locked myself into the kitchen where I'm listening to Daddy Yankee with Riesling and feeling blue.

I want to go out. I want to have fun. I want to live a little. Instead I'm stuck in the kitchen on my computer dreaming of a better life..

If I was to go to the living room I'd have to quit listening to the music and watch boring shows and be all servy to my bf with a hang-over.

Today after Zumba I felt I didn't want to go back home. Knowing too well what expects me here... I want more. I don't want to be the person who everyone comes to when they're hungry or too lazy to do something themselves.

I am not feeling at all xmassy. I don't feel excited about it at all. And it's not because I've gotten old, because I'm not old, I don't feel day over 21. But just for some reason I don't seem to have the usual xmas enthusiasm..