Nothing interesting

My life as an unemployed athlete

2012-01-30T22:36:00.003+02:00

Being skint bothers me a lot. But I am also worried I won't have time for exercising when (if) I find a job. Stupid fear. But when you get used to working out 10-13 hours per week anything less will feel useless.
Update on my life: Nothing has changed, nothing has happened.

Thought I'd say something even though I have nothing to say.

New Year

2012-01-02T21:15:00.003+02:00

Happy New Year!

This year I am going to get myself the body I deserve with all the hard work I've been doing. Just going to step it up a bit and make it happen.

My plan is to work out two hours/day, five times a week. Then on the sixth day I will do calisthenics at home. And have possibly one day to relax and let my muscles rest. I'm concentrating on the muscle classes mostly because Strong is the new skinny. I was told today that we have crossfit now also at our gym. It's only half an hour twice a week but that's still a chance to try it and get results. Pinterest fitness pins keep me motivated. I wish my printer worked so I could print some out and pin them around my flat.

There is one concern about all this. And that is money. Soon, in a few months, I will have to get by with a LOT less and that would mean I couldn't afford my membership anymore. I mean if I still wished to eat.So now Universe, I would need things to get alright preferably asap so I could stop worrying and just live my life and achieve my goals.

For some reason I have not been feeling like drinking wine lately either. I suppose it must be my subconscious is telling me I need to (I decided I would anyway) drink less in order to get faster progress.

One of the locations of the gym has a brand new infrared sauna. I'm liking it very much since it is supposed to burn fat and do tons of other good stuff. Don't know if I quite believe it but it's worth a try.

Bothers me a bit

2011-11-18T09:29:00.001+02:00

In this mornings Aamulehti there was a guide "How to choose a perfect dress for your body type".None of the body types describes was me. I am Y-shape but I don't have skinny legs. My legs have enormous muscles in them. And it seemed that they expected body type "Y" to be skinny anyways. The only fatter shape was the "O" and that doesn't describe me either. My big arms don't look too good with any of the example dresses. Yet another guide that helps in no way at all. I had to have it said and somehow I felt FB and Twitter were not the right media for it. And it was time for an update anyway so. Have an awesome weekend!

New glasses

2011-11-09T16:03:00.001+02:00

Glasses

I bought these awesome glasses from flea market maybe a month ago. This is the style I've been looking for. Usually champagne glasses are "flutes". I don't have any of those nor do I want any. I prefer this "Spanish" model more.

Buzzador duties with fond du chef

2011-10-31T12:31:00.001+02:00

Hi everyone! I've been doing this Buzzador thing again with Knorr Fond du Chef. http://knorr.fi/#/etusivu/fondduchefI've made several different dished with them including salmon pasta and chicken noodle soup. Tried all of the four flavors (beef, chicken, veggie and fish) some more than once. I also gave my friends some to try themselves. I have to say at first I thought they were far too salty. Perhaps it was because of the soy cream I used or maybe one Fond was too much for the meal in question.However after making the very tasty chicken coconut noodle soup I changed my mind. I used 2 flavors in it, chicken and veggie, and I must say the result was excellent. Here's a picture of one of the first meals I made with the Fonds:

I wish I had more money to try so many more different types of dinners with them. With the salmon pasta I put half fish fond in the macaroni. I can't say I tasted much difference in it. But at least I tried one different way of using them.Still have a couple of weeks to test and wait for my friends' responses. So far I have been able to make tasty meals with them, nothing bad.

thoughts

2011-10-28T16:06:00.000+03:00

I suppose if I really think about it, this place doesn't really feel like home either. It feels..temporary. Will I ever be able to settle down? One could wonder if it was because this is a rented place and not my own but I am worried it wouldn't make a difference. Unless maybe I would find an absolutely perfect apartment that I could and would buy. Would that make me feel more settled? Perhaps we'll never know.At least I'd need more things to make this more complete. The big wall still looks very unfinished, bare even. It needs more but I can barely buy food..I bought 11kgs of food and drink today. Spent a fortune. I should be able to live on all of that for at least 2 weeks if I'm smart about it. I might not be though. If I knew where I stand in this job situation I suppose I wouldn't be so worried. Halloween on Monday and there's nothing I can do about it...November coming soon.. At least I have sangria!

new life

2011-10-20T20:40:00.000+03:00

I have not mentioned anything about my new life. Maybe I should. Living on my own now for the first time since... ever, to be honest. It's a bit weird but not that much I suppose. I have a very cozy apartment. I just have to accept that every night I am awaken at 5 and can get back to sleep maybe at 6am. Then wake up comes around 9 am. Cats won't let me sleep too much. First week I was over eating. Analyze it how ever you want. Then I decided I have to stop and I did. I don't know what to say really. Just getting used to all this. It's a bit too soon to say much.

hmm

2011-09-13T13:38:00.002+03:00

I applied for an interesting job. As a Quality Hunter. I will tell you all about it when I get rejected. Deal?

Cute

2011-09-11T19:03:00.001+03:00

Grrrr

2011-09-11T13:40:00.001+03:00

Life without a computer is very unpleasant

:/

2011-09-01T08:33:00.000+03:00

So trip no 1 got booked and all looked awesome for a moment. Then the next day things went bad. I had already let myself believe it a little but my luck is not that good. The trip is still happening but it's going to be different. I'm just disappointed. Especially since it is not just the trip that went sour.. Oh well, that's life for you.. Just gotta deal with it.

Planning 2 trips abroad!

2011-08-28T19:40:00.002+03:00

Can you believe it?!?
One only a week from now with awesome friends. Only it's not booked yet and I believe it's awesome when we're all in the bus on the way there. But still it's been promised to happen and I try to hope it's true. Because it will be so effing awesome.
Another one, also something I don't really believe 100% yet. But I was told I won a trip worth of a lot of money. But I will believe it when I see the gift certificate. When I know more I can really start planning. I might go alone somewhere for 2 weeks or bring a friend and pay for her trip as well. I might do that because I can. And it would definitely be more fun with someone else.
This is me writing. The poor, unemployed me. A bit of good fortune has come my way and I intend to enjoy it to the fullest. I think I deserve it. My life has been so empty and unhappy for years as you may know if you have read this blog before (if anyone ever reads it anyway..).
I'm hoping next week will be awesome and all things go as planned and nothing goes wrong. I really really hope that. If there is any good luck in the air for me I need it next to make this all happen.

Mi vida.

2011-08-04T19:46:00.003+03:00

For once my life is not boring and lame. It's finally interesting. I'm having lots of fun. I'm doing things I used to only dream about (and things I thought I would never ever do) and I'm learning things about myself I never knew before and I have great new friends to hang out with.
I have to say that for the first time in years I'm happy.
Can't say my life is easy or simple but a little complication keeps things interesting.
7 months in and I still think this is my year. The best of them all. Although incredibly poor.

Tuesday

2011-07-20T13:02:00.002+03:00

So it was Tuesday. I was on my way to zumba when I got a call from my friend asking if I'd like to go to a bar. Since it's basically my principle this year not to say no to any chance of fun I said let's talk again after my zumba class. Right after the class she said they were coming to pick me up. I was in my zumba gear, you know running shoes and sweaty clothes, but I figured WTH. So there I was going to a bar in my sweaty zumba clothes. And as it happens I got home at 4am. On a Tuesday night! Or more like Wednesday morning.. haha. But I sure had fun. Good evening. More of these.

2011-07-20T13:00:00.001+03:00

I want it so bad

lazy blogger

2011-07-05T11:14:00.002+03:00

Haven't said anything for awhile.
Not that there's been anything worth mentioning.
I'm gonna make some money this Friday and Saturday. No idea how much but some anyway. This also means I have to wake up at 5am on Saturday!! Oh well..
Since we got the new sofas I've been doing more of decorating and cleaning than ever before. It's nice to have an apartment that looks like a place people live in and not just a storage area for random furniture.

I managed to hurt my little finger last Saturday. It was a football injury. It got all black and swollen. I don't think I broke it but it hurts to bend it or put pressure on it. I thought about going to show it to a doctor but then I decided he/she can't really do anything about it. Only wrap it so it gets rest and heals and then I'd have to pay too much for that. I don't have that kind of money.

disturbing

2011-06-22T10:16:00.003+03:00

Yesterday I found a health card from when I was either 14 or 15. It had also my height and weight on it. I was a bit shorter then. And also I was a bit heavier then. So basically I am much thinner now than I was in middle school. That's somewhat disturbing but also very wonderful at the same time.

Tallinn

2011-06-19T15:43:00.002+03:00

I got a free trip to Tallinn yesterday. The catch was I had to be the driver. I drove a van for the second time in my life and in 2 different unfamiliar cities. But it was fun.
It didn't start off very good. At around 6:40 we were meant to leave from Pirkkala and the hand break was stuck. It took awhile to get it released and then we were off. It was rainy so I was only driving 100-110km/h. But we got to the harbor without a problem. Next problem appeared when we were checking in. The height of the van was a bit problematic. It was supposed to be 190cm but then the harbor guy measured it to be higher. But he was too drunk or too uninterested to do anything about it so he let us go. I was still a bit worried about driving to the boat because it was my first time behind the wheel doing that. But things went well. Boys drank beer on the boat and I didn't. I saw someone who look very much like Olli Hietajärvi and when I mentioned it to my bf he mentioned the other guys in the same company were Teräsbetoni. When we got out in Tallinn it was the different harbor than first thought so the route to the Norde Centrum was different and by the time I realized that it was too crowded to change lanes and we ended up doing a lap in the other side of the city center but eventually ended up parking on the norde centrum lot. And even though I said no way we're eating at Hesburger we couldn't find another place to eat so we ended up back at the Hesburger at Norde Centrum. Ridiculously cheap compared to Finland. We were about 30 mins ahead of our schedule but headed out for the SuperAlko anyway. Good thing we didm since it took so long to get all our booze. Only we were at the harbor heading back an hour before it was boarding. It was a bit hard to be the only one who couldn't drink anything all trip but I made it. And even though R was unsure where we were going after leaving the boat I knew what I was doing and we got to the right road to Tampere eventually. All and all it was a fun trip and I would do it again. Only I'd hope next time I'd have more money.
by the way Tuukka could so well be a brother of Jesse's if I didn't know any better.

Yawn

2011-06-15T12:14:00.002+03:00

The darn darkness is killing me. I sleep 10 hours/night and I'm tired all day and nothing is interesting and I'm just bored all the time. I need sunshine. I really NEED it. Maybe it's such a medical condition a doctor would recommend moving to another country ;)
Dream on.. As if anything interesting is ever gonna happen to me. You see? That's what this weather does to me. Makes me all negative and miserable. Not good.

I had to give up a little in the job situation and apply to a very uninteresting job. It probably doesn't even pay enough. I can't live like this anymore. I need money.

solar powered

2011-06-13T12:52:00.001+03:00

I think I must be made of tiny invisible solar panels. Last week was hot and sunny and wonderful. I was happy and energetic all week. Today it's dark and rainy and cold and I can barely keep my eyes open..

:D

2011-06-11T16:35:00.003+03:00

I have to say that this has been one of the best weeks of my life. It's amazing what a bit of heat and sunshine do to me.
I'm like a completely different person.
Also made my exercise record this week. Never ever have I done this much i(we never go anywhere together). I was ready to take pictures but of course I had left my phone at home..
I'm going out "terracing" with 2 of my friends today. I was trying to get them to go out yesterday but both were willing to do today instead. Suits me fine. This is going to be the last good day for a while so it's best to enjoy it to the fullest.
Also I have to mention that I am a bit drunk already. Drinking sangria. Although not as good as Don Simon, but what can I do?
Best quit while I haven't made a complete fool of myself...

things that make me happy pt 1

2011-06-10T08:09:00.001+03:00

A new low on the scale

Summer is here

2011-06-06T14:19:00.003+03:00

Finally!
Or it should arrive tomorrow. With 28°C. And it should last at least until the end of the week.
I*m gonna love every minute of it. I promise.
I was thinking of going for a quick swim today. It's too cold for anything more than that.

I am going to try to define myself again..

2011-06-05T16:03:00.003+03:00

I've been thinking again. I suppose I am an artistic soul after all. Although I possess absolutely no artistic talent whatsoever..

You know the kind of a.. free spirit who thinks life should be about experiences and new things and good times and good wine. Definitely good wine. (although any wine is good wine when there's nothing else available)
The thought of marriage and kids horrify me. Of course I am happy for my friends for getting married and reproducing if it makes them happy but I can't picture myself in their situation. Life is too much fun to be locked inside four walls if you know what I mean.
I am the kind of person who goes out into the nightlife with her friends even when both of us are absolutely skint. Enough for now.

Set a goal

2011-06-04T09:11:00.002+03:00

I was reading my heiaheia stats and realized I'm pretty close to -10kgs. On the 15th of June last year I weighed almost 10kgs more than I do now. But only almost. I decided I should try to get there by the 15th. Although this morning I am not as convinced I'll make it anymore. But we'll see.

"Awesome"

2011-06-02T19:57:00.002+03:00

That's like the awesomest word there is, right?

I suppose I should believe I'm awesome too. It's just hard. It's so unbelievable. It should really give me a lot of confidence, only it hasn't, at least much. Maybe some day.

But I don't see it myself. I think I look pretty average. I'm not even especially thin or anything. But hey, what do I know?

you know what?

2011-06-01T08:55:00.000+03:00

Kesko moving is pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me, sort of.

Μισώ τη βροχή

2011-05-30T13:28:00.003+03:00

I have been entertaining with the idea of starting my days with a 5k jog every morning. It's crazy mostly because running is so damn boring. But then again it would only take about half an hour of my day.. Not too bad.
Great start today. It was raining and my calves are so stiff I could barely walk. So instead of running or going to tai chi I got my acupuncture mat and rested my legs on it for an hour and a half. Now about five hours later I can walk again, relatively painlessly anyway.
R is training for Pirkan Hölkkä. Or at least he should be. I'm not convinced. I thought for a few seconds I should train with him even though I'm not participating. We'll see..
Wish I was better at expressing myself verbally. This seems so lame and hmm...
I give up.

Buzzador duties

2011-05-28T13:32:00.006+03:00

I am a member of Buzzador (www.buzzador.com). Which means I get to occasionally test products myself and with my friends and of course tell them about them. This was my second Buzz. I was to get five Dr Oetker Stoneoven Tradizionale pizzas and feed them to my friends. A Perfect opportunity came disguised as a bachelorette party.

To be honest I had already forgotten about the whole campaign because I got the acceptance email on my phone when I was somewhere out and about and only remembered it after seeing a reminder on facebook.

I was worried at first. The upcoming month isn't the best in terms of getting my friends together at the same time over the same table. But then it hit me. The bachelorette party! There I'd have enough people to taste and talk about the pizzas, and we'd save some money on other food at the same time. Very last minute. The idea came to me on Thursday, the party was on Friday. The very next day. Knowing we were going on this cottage, I thought it's very possible there isn't a freezer to put the pizzas in while we do other things. Didn't think of the possibility of not having an oven until sometime early Friday morning. Too late to cancel. Had to hope for the best.

So we arrived at the cottage. No freezer. Just a small freezer box in the refrigerator. Big enough to put three pizzas in it. The other two had to melt, but didn't really matter since we were going to bake them later that day anyway. Also no oven.

I had the perfect solution for the problem. And it was located outside. I figured we could at least try to bake them on the grill. And if that would be an epic failure we could go over to the main house and do the pizzas there.

Turns out it was an excellent idea. Pizzas turned out rather nice and crispy and even hot on top.

The picture would be far more impressive if you could see the fire, but this will have to do.

Girls liked the pizzas. Although probably won't start buying them. I suppose we don't eat all that many frozen pizzas in the end and when it comes to choosing, prize is an important factor, and taste of course. Taste-wise they were quite delicious, especially with an added smoke flavor. :) Salami was everybody's favorite, Mozzarella close second. Tuna got one negative vote.
I'd post a picture of us eating them but we're sauna fresh, and I don't think anyone would want to see that picture published anywhere.

Loucas Yiorkas

2011-05-26T21:18:00.002+03:00

Alex Sparrow

2011-05-26T21:16:00.002+03:00

Anybody know the song that's playing around minute 6?

2011-05-26T11:33:00.002+03:00

My problem

2011-05-26T11:27:00.002+03:00

I think my biggest problem is that deep down(or maybe not that deep) I don't really want a normal job. Maybe that's why I find it so hard to decide what I really want to do. And by 'really' I mean something realistic. Because I'd rather be a singer, dancer or a writer. But since I'm not particularly fantastic at any of those things I'm screwed.
Am I repeating myself?

Last weekend I had fun again. I had started feeling really bad about myself again and that Saturday evening was just what I needed. A bit of attention. From three different directions. It was a real ego booster. I've been feeling a bit better since. And I also got to sing karaoke again. And it was brilliant. I love the karaoke at Gloria. The sound around the mic gives me the illusion that I'm good. I'm not. I recorded my song on my phone and although the sound quality is terrible I can hear I can't really sing all that well at all. But at that moment when you're on stage holding a mic and singing a song and it sounds good to you that's just really awesome. More of that please!

Although the night was pretty great as it was, something was left out. I'd really like to dance. It's been too long. Not counting Zumba and hiphop of course, but good old sweating and dancing for hours in a night club to good danceable music. Watching Alex Sparrow Russian party videos on youtube made me miss it even more. Also how fantastic would it have been to have been at that party anyway? Or just to have lived in Düsseldorf this month?!?

αννικα

2011-05-20T22:01:00.003+03:00

I want to be good at something.

Dreamworld

2011-05-19T20:25:00.003+03:00

it's a good place to be, right?
At least momentarily I'm happy. Then reality hits hard.
You might notice I've been quite unhappy again lately. Sucks to be this poor. In my crazy dreams I am at the next Eurovision song contest. haha, right?

Missing..

2011-05-18T20:50:00.003+03:00

I miss karaoke and dancing.
It's been soo long. My life is dangerously slipping into what it was last year and before that and it is not good. Although I have to say I'm so skinned I don't think I can even afford food for the entire three weeks.. I am not willing to steal from my other account since it's my "independence" fund. I'd feel very uneasy without it. Why won't there be any jobs for me? I need money!!!
And I need fun.

suddenly got the urge to learn Greek..

2011-05-17T20:46:00.000+03:00

ESC 2011

2011-05-15T12:36:00.002+03:00

Yesterday was the final.
I would have to say the quality of the songs in general was quite high. Only about three songs I don't like at all; Moldova, Ireland and Azerbaijan. Shame Azerbaijan won.
I don't think I have a favorite among all these because none of them is outstanding. But to name a few : Romania, Greece, Estonia, Hungary...
How awesome would it be to have that kind of talent? To be able to sing well enough to have the chance to get to represent your country at the Eurovision Song Contest?!? To have any talent for that matter?
ah well..

I feel like I should say something..

2011-04-29T12:09:00.002+03:00

.. but what?
Yesterday was the entrance examination for the degree programme in tourism. The exam itself was very easy, but I doubt I aced the essay nor the interview. Time will tell.
I'm feeling lazy. Probably due to the diet. Going for bodybalance still.
I really don't have anything to say

sentences I've never heard in my entire life pt1:

2011-03-25T16:17:00.000+02:00

I wanna take you out.

It's been a while again

2011-03-18T08:48:00.002+02:00

Over a month.

Suppose not much has happened since that. Except one of my best friends had her bachelorette party last weekend. We took her to a mani-pedi, salsa/merengue dancing, Horseback riding and to this cottage in Lempäälä where we spent the night.

The salsa teacher said we'd do salsa, merengue and reggaeton, but she made us do salsa and merengue so long we ran out of time. It was a shame since I was really looking forward to the reggaeton and especially since we just did the same steps for 4-6 songs, it was getting a bit boring. And since there was nothing new to me. Just the basic steps which I do like 5 times a week anyway in my classes.

I was reading a person X's blog yesterday and it made me feel really bad about myself. Just another reminder that I am so not an interesting person. I have nothing to say. Nothing interesting anyway. I wish I was braver and my brain worked faster. I wish I had more confidence. I wish I wasn't such a chicken. Ah, well.. maybe some day. I thought this was supposed to be therapeutic, writing down(or telling someone) what's bugging me, but it just seems to make me sadder. Not good.

I hope the two Jam classes today will cheer me up. And maybe I'll go check out the toning class too even though gogo website says it's not Vrajim's class today..

Maybe I should make this private.

Perfect

2011-02-13T18:40:00.002+02:00

It was my turn to host the *****-star dinner yesterday. I made sweet potato soup, my own curry-thing and layer soup(?). Oh and naan bread.

I think people at least mostly liked my cookings and had a good time.

After that we went to Kuuba/Armas.

I have to say it was the perfect night. To top it all I even won the lotto with 4+1. Not a big win but 17,50€ is more than I have ever won.

I am left with fond memories and honestly the best night of my life.

thanks guys!

parteeh

2011-02-04T13:04:00.002+02:00

so yesterday was the awesome party no 2. And I went alone.

I felt a bit silly at first being there all alone, but then people started dancing and I went too, easier to blend in with a crowd. Vrajim took me in a group of people so I didn't have to dance alone all the time. That was nice. It didn't last too long. At around 1am I was already thinking of going home but I got company, so I stayed until around 2:15 and then escaped and took the cab home.

It was a fun evening filled with my kind of music and .. ooh now I have to tell you what I drank, you're not gonna believe it. First a margarita at home, and a very large one, then a tequila shot. Nothing unusual about that. At the bar, first order a beer. Just because it was cheapest. Then a crowmore. or crowmoore? which one is it? anyway. Next half a pint of Guinness!! followed by Laphroaig single malt expensive scotch. That's all I had. Spent too much money, expensive place.

Apparently first of many parties. Hopefully next time I don't have to go alone.

I made a disturbing realization just a moment ago.. Shame I can't really tell anything about it. But disturbing. Pathetic even.

Back to work..

Back in the day and more

2011-02-03T12:25:00.003+02:00

When I was still a student I felt like I was in the wrong field, felt that I haven't got enough interest. Well as it happens, I still feel the same, especially after about 3 months of work in "my" field. Or maybe it's just this particular job and the boss. I can't see myself doing this after 2,5 weeks, but what can I do? It's not like I have another plan. I suppose if I ask for so much salary(something that is still reasonable for the job) that it's too much for her to pay then I wouldn't have to stay.

For about 2 seconds I thought about applying for a job in Fuengirola. But it's telesales and I hate that almost more than anything. At least the location and weather would be nicer.

Esta noche is the Gogo Zumba party and Afro Caribbean Spectacular Evening!! yay! I'm trying not to think too much of the fact that all my friends are lame and I have to go alone. Anyway I plan to have fun and dance as long as it doesn't feel weird being there alone.

I don't suppose I have anything else to say, at least anything I can say. :D

Dreamin'

2011-02-02T12:31:00.003+02:00

Because I had a pan pizza with lots and lots of garlic yesterday for lunch, I was forced to sleep on my left side all night. And because of that I kept waking up whenever I wanted to turn, so I remember maybe 3 dreams from last night.

Good dreams all of them.

The first one I can remember was the best. I was so happy in that. It's a shame I can't be as happy in real life. I'm pretty sure that it is possible, in theory.

This also made me realize that I haven't gotten over it (you've no idea what I'm talking about and let's keep it that way) although I thought I had. Now I just feel pathetic.

Almost forgot, I applied to Degree Program in Tourism yesterday. I didn't mean to, after I had realized I'd have to live on student grant again for 3-4 years and that does not sound good. But then I figured why the hell not? They had me at "Resort Manager". It's not like I have to go if I should get in. It's a possibility anyway. A door if you will. I had to do it because I've been suffering from a serious case of missing the palm trees. Then I thought I could apply to do my training at Anfi Del Mar. How awesome would that be, especially if they'd let me stay in one of the rooms for 5 months?!?!?

But I'm just a dreamer. If for once my dreams would start coming true? too much to ask?

2011-01-28T12:52:00.003+02:00

So I was thinking.. I missed the chance because I only found out about it yesterday and that was the last day and it was a bit too short notice for me(although I'm working on being more impulsive and spur of the moment kinda gal), but back to the point.. At this very moment I feel like the best thing I could do is to go work in a bar or restaurant in Gran Canaria. How amazing would that be?

Weather would be nice most of the year. I'd be able to learn Spanish, at least I should be. Have this laid back job and just enjoy what the island has to offer.

Background: Yesterday as I was having a terrible morning I decided to see what the world has to offer according to mol.fi and they were looking for restaurant and bar workers for 2 different places in Playa Del Ingles. It was just for a 1-3 months but how interesting does that sound?

So I'm thinking, and this is easy now when I know it's not happening now, that next time such opportunity comes I'll apply even though I have very limited restaurant experience.

The sum of many things this is, but one of them being my current job. Although I don't know about the future, all I know is that this is not what I want to be doing. Not really.

hmm

2011-01-24T10:16:00.004+02:00

Just went on a cruise with myself this saturday. Seriously I was there alone and I had a good time. Who would have thought? The morning boat was the best idea, because in case there's someone you want to get away from you don't have to spend the entire next day trying to avoid them. You get off the boat so early. And since everyone else started drinking before 9 am, the whole day was there for consuming alcohol. I should definitely do that again, soon.

I think I have to make some serious changes in my life. Even Seija Muurinen's quotes each week seem to tell me so :) www.seijamuurinen.fi

I need a longer break from my current life.

And I wish I could see if what I feel is for real and not just in my head. Not saying more about that. It's a secret ;)

This year has treated me good so far. I hope it lasts.

The only way to get through a boring work week is when there's something to look forward to at the end of it. This week is still good, (could be better too!) but next week worries me. What can I do then?

The last thing I want to do is stay at home all weekend.

I've done that for 8 years. That's more than enough.

More fun

2011-01-15T19:03:00.000+02:00

I think I had even more fun this friday. ;) Have to definitely go out a LOT more

Fun FUN FUN!!

2011-01-05T11:53:00.002+02:00

So I had the best weekend of my life. Or maybe the best 5 days.

Who would have thought that a snow storm in the New York area would be a good thing for me? But it was. Sheena got stuck in Newark and was unable to go to Dublin or Glasgow where she was going at first. Then she got a plane to Stockholm and came to stay with me for 5 days. This meant I had a chance to meet a relative from the States for the first time ever and also I had someone fun to hangout with to go out with. That's just what we did. First we celebrated new years and my friends place followed by karaoke. Stayed up until 5am. Not our choice actually but anyway. Then the next night was this awesome afro-caribbean party where I had tried to find someone to go with for almost 2 weeks and then suddenly I had 2. So the 3 of us went there, partied like never before. I loved it coz I got to dance for 4-5 hours and then of course it did great for my self esteem. I was surprisingly popular. The whole night was nothing but great music. It was so great. We stayed until the end and got home around 5 am. That was the second night in a row! At least now I know I've not gotten old. It wasn't even hard for me. I'm still young and I'm apparently reasonably hot too ;)

I really need to go out more. It does me good

Dreams

2010-12-24T09:20:00.002+02:00

I had a really good dream last night. It made me so happy. Shame it was just a dream and will never ever be real :( I'm in love with a fantasy

I need more friends

2010-12-21T13:31:00.003+02:00

When I think about it, all my friends, incl. my bf, are so different from me. We don't really share any interests. We don't like the same music, they don't like to dance. Basically they are no use for me. I'm stuck alone all the time.

Sometimes I just wish I could take a break from all of them, then I think I can't go anywhere, coz I'd miss Zumba ;)

I'm enjoying almost looking like a normal person again. It's been nearly seven years.

I've come to see it for myself that it is actually possible to gain weight when you don't eat enough, which seems quite unbelievable. But that's true. As soon as I dared to eat a bit more I lost 0,5kg in one day.

The weird thing is, I've not missed ice cream at all. I might have mentioned the ice cream reward before, and even now after over a week I still haven't bought the CG. I don't understand where this motivation has come from. But I'm liking it.

Just to let you know

2010-12-21T13:28:00.001+02:00

I'm a chicken.

..

2010-12-18T17:51:00.003+02:00

I've locked myself into the kitchen where I'm listening to Daddy Yankee with Riesling and feeling blue.

I want to go out. I want to have fun. I want to live a little. Instead I'm stuck in the kitchen on my computer dreaming of a better life..

If I was to go to the living room I'd have to quit listening to the music and watch boring shows and be all servy to my bf with a hang-over.

Today after Zumba I felt I didn't want to go back home. Knowing too well what expects me here... I want more. I don't want to be the person who everyone comes to when they're hungry or too lazy to do something themselves.

I am not feeling at all xmassy. I don't feel excited about it at all. And it's not because I've gotten old, because I'm not old, I don't feel day over 21. But just for some reason I don't seem to have the usual xmas enthusiasm..

blog-day

2010-12-14T13:32:00.002+02:00

I've been blogging like mad for all my other blogs but now that I came here and started to think what I'm going to write about my head went blank.

10 days to xmas. I've done pretty much all my shopping, last ones today at lunch. I don't feel at all xmassy. Been feeling a bit low anyways in the past few months or so. Especially now when it's -16 to -24 C outside all the time. It's not the darkness because it's not been dark, there's so much snow everywhere. General displeasure. I have my dance hobbies to make me happy but that's only for an hour / day maybe the good feeling lasts a bit longer but ..

One thing I am extremely happy about me. Physical feature. I've always had a waist. Even on my fattest of days I've always had a waist. That means of course now that I am the smallest I've been in nearly 7 years my belly doesn't look saggy or otherwise ugly. a few more kgs and it's looking quite good actually. If only I could get thin arms too. I've never had thin arms...

I figured the best excuse for a run. All you need is a dog. It doesn't have to be your own dog. My boss' dog loves it when we run a bit. He's old so luckily he doesn't run too much, I can keep up.

I've lost all motivation to work. Even the thought of having a regular job freaks me out a bit, since it's not going to be what I really want. So what do I really want? Still no clue..

I wish I had a talent. Sucks to be average but not have the mind to live average life.

haha. nutcase obviously.

what can i say?

2010-12-11T22:28:00.002+02:00

I am feeling.. i can't define it. It's bothering me none the less.

That's why I have to let it out, even though I can't really let it out since I don't know how to describe it.

Also feeling a bit silly.

I suppose that must be enough for now.

yawn

2010-10-29T08:47:00.003+03:00

Friday.
Less than an hour at "work". Paid all my bills. Checked all the company invoices. Now I have nothing to do for the rest of the day. I know at some point someone will give me something to do, but meanwhile I'm going to look busy and pretend to be working. Lunch in 2 hours. I guess I can think of something to do for 2 hours.

Ordered something. Hopefully I'll get the reply to it soon, or else I'm going to think I did something wrong. And that's not good.
Bought a soda. It's ridiculously cheap here. I wanted water but it was too white and nasty looking so I thought what the heck, 50-55 cents for a bottle is not too much. I'll get one of those. While getting it I got the order thing and possibly another thing to do today.

My phone keeps surprising me all the time. Today I found I have Pride and Prejudice the novel on my book along with Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. How great is that?!?! As a standard feature. Not something I got from Android Market.

about 30 minutes to the middle of the day. Can't believe time goes by so slowly.

Slow....

2010-10-28T08:34:00.002+03:00

This is going to be one of the longest days of my life. This "job" of mine should only be part-time. Maybe twice a week. Because there simply isn't enough to do. This is something I haven't told anyone at the firm just yet. I'm holding it until I figure out what to do with that info. It surprises me that no one ever suspects that I am something other than busy all the time. I mean what do they think I do? They should know my tasks, how little there is and still nothing. I suppose it's better this way, sort of.. Anyway this is not a work place for me and I'm going to leave before it's too late.
Anyway I've been filling out open application to places and am thinking of continuing that soon. Trying to find a quick way out.

Tomorrow is the Halloween Zumbathon, 3-hour Zumba marathon and I'm quite excited about that. It's going to be so much fun. My sister is coming with me. Neither of us is dressing up since we don't really have anything suitable.

Yesterday I won 2 tickets to the book & wine fair in Helsinki and a one year subscription of Viini-magazine. Which is awesome since I think I just got the last wine mag of my previous subscription and now I get a whole year more of them. Hooray!
And the fair. I really really wanna go. It seems no one is interested in going with me. I guess I'll have to go alone. That's fine, I'm used to doing all things fun alone anyway since everyone I know are not into fun things apparently. I was thinking I'd pay a visit to my favorite Torres-bar while I'm in town. Have a glass of Esmeralda and then come home, after the fair of course.

grrr

2010-10-03T17:39:00.002+03:00

feeling very .. hmm. best not say.

frustration is one of the things i am feeling. i can't share here. can't really tell anyone.

luckily tomorrow is monday and i can start dancing again for 5 days. weekends are not really gym days.

i sort of wish i had a job in the city center so i wouldn't be this poor but then at the same time it would really get in the way of my dancing. ok, not really but some anyway. so i am just glad i can do what i do now.

guess that's all i am gonna say this time, now getting back to ranger, morelli and stephanie

sommaren

2010-07-14T15:53:00.002+03:00

I have fully enjoyed this heat period, the real summer, we have recently had. Although I wish we'd have palm trees to make it feel more summer-y. Might be coming to an end soon and that's not cool.

I've also enjoyed my freedom from work this summer. There's nothing better than being able to do whatever you want(at least in theory) and spend time in the sun. I suppose soon I'll have to start really looking for a new job but I'm not quite there yet..

Last night I had my good dream again. It's been a long time since the last time. And it's never the same, the story I mean, but the basic feeling is. Always wake up happy and dreamy. I wish I could see that dream more often. It's not that kind of a dream. I know what you're thinking :)

Shame it's so dark and cloudy today. It's weird really. It's really hot, but no sun to be seen.

I'd like a lot of money, I mean a lot, so I could do bunch of things I want to do and see places I've always dreamt of. But I have a feeling it's all going to be just a dream.. hmm

I wish I had something to write about instead of all this nonsense. But... well.. never mind..

It's been a while

2010-03-25T17:12:00.002+02:00

I'm generally quite unhappy with my life. It's always the same. I'm not a huge fan of routines. So when everyday is pretty much the same this is what I get. I wish I had money to make some, even small, changes. Travel, redecorate.. something. I hate almost all our furniture. I hate the fact that this place is not cozy at all. Just a mixed collection of hand-me-down furniture and miss-matched rugs.

Sometimes I think my sour mood is caused by the lack of sugar in my diet. That I haven't had much candy for weeks. But that's just stupid. It's not like I'd have been sugar-free completely.

Then I wondered, that even though I'm really looking forward to being unemployed in June, perhaps I'm still stressing over it unconsciously. The worst thing that could happen is me having to do similar job still. That thought makes me almost panic. But then I also wonder am I ever going to get a proper job? I mean I'm terrible at writing job applications. Then all the jobs I'm after are also applied by at least 90 other people. 154 was the number on the last job. How am I supposed to be better than all of them? It's not possible. I don't have enough experience or special skills for that. I would need to think of a new profession. Something completely different, something less popular. Or I would have to come up with a brilliant business plan and start my own business. Unfortunately I don't have any ideas. Or skills.

Why do I think all my posts are this depressing? It might be that I only write when I'm feeling most down or because nothing fun or interesting never happens.

This month has been a terrible money spending month. First there were 2 massages, then the cats vet and special food and my dentist. Have another appointment with the dental hygienist next month. Should be lots cheaper. I have very good teeth. Something to be happy about.

I'll add something fun to the end. I have three parties to look forward to. Or "parties". All with my work buddies. One theater night with dinner and more. One farewell party for the whole place before they move and they're even thinking of another sauna evening at Tarja's too at some point. So something fun coming up.

Also one of my hyacinths from christmas is still alive and well. Flowerless but strong looking. Although it's turning a bit purple, kind of waxy, so I'm not sure it's doing all that great. But still it looks fine.

skiing

2010-01-21T08:38:00.002+02:00

I've been skiing twice in one week. First on Saturday I went cross-country skiing. Dug out my 15-year old equipment from the basement and went for it. Almost gave up after 20 minutes but then I said to myself I'd be so proud if I'd carry on and do the Suolijärvi -route. That's 4,3km. So there I went. Only I didn't know at that time it would be only uphills and downhills.. Very frustrating. But I did it! yay! This was my first time in 4-5 years.

Then yesterday we went downhill skiing. I had come up with the idea about a week before and introduced it to my friends and they were all in. It was just as fun as I remembered. And it's been 10 years. I was impressed how easy it was to get back to it even after such a long time. Suppose it helped I had skied normally just before. Only fell once. Surprising as such but even more so when it was only because I jumped off this tiny tiny ..hmm.. well jumping place. Fell on my back and didn't hurt myself. Until at home I noticed how my right elbow was sore but still couldn't see a bruise.

It wasn't as expensive as I thought it would be. The reason I've had a 10-year gap is the cost of the activity. With the exercise vouchers I get from work it was even cheaper. I should go again some day. Preferably a warmer day. The frozen anchor lift froze my arse each time I was on it.. At least each time I managed to get it behind my bum :)

Tempo makes a good day

2009-12-10T12:43:00.003+02:00

Yesterday was my name day. My bf had a meeting at Salud with the guys of the apartment building. And I thought to myself that I'm not going to eat some lame ass home cooked something if he gets to go to a restaurant on "my" day. So I chose Tempo. Went alone. Didn't even bother to ask anyone to join me since I usually need to book my friends weeks in advance.
They had this Churrascaria Brasileira thing going on there. Everything on that menu looked absolutely fantastic but I chose the chicken wrapped in a banana leaf and what else came with it. This theme offered a free starter buffet. Different small tapas-like options. cheese, cantaloupe, salmon, serrano? ham, lime? crab tales and marinated garlic and even something that looked like skinned mini fish. It looked too scary so I didn't even try it.
For the first time ever I got to really see how food changes the taste of wine. I ordered a glass of wine that goes with my dinner. Red or white as long as it was good with the meal. I got Argentinian chardonnay Graffigna. I tried some before the meal came and it was absolutely delicious, full of flavors. But when the chicken was brought to me and I got to try the wine with it, I was in awe. It was ever better. A Perfect combination. After I had finished the meal and I still had some wine left it didn't taste as good anymore. I mean it was good but not that good. Later I went to see if that particular wine was available in Alko and there it was. 7,99€ / bottle. I paid 5,50€ for a 12cl.
The meal was not very big. Hence I just had to have dessert. It was very very expensive, I mean at least to me 9€ for a dessert is much. Pannacotta al Mojito or something like that it was called. Came with a rum-chocolate shot. Really good. I was a bit disappointed by the size-price ratio of it. It was a small dose with that horrible price. But I am not complaining. It was a perfect meal all in all and I felt really good and happy after that. Not something I've been feeling much lately.
Special thanks to the very nice, friendly staff for choosing the perfect wine and not looking at me like I was a freak sitting there all alone :D
Wonderful restaurant. I do recommend.
It was a good day.

Can't wait for this season to end

2009-12-03T14:54:00.002+02:00

I'm just so tired all the time. And I mean all the time. Although I get enough sleep almost every night I still feel as if I could sleep a lot more. Too tired to do anything.

Ok I have to admit one thing. Even though I always say I hate snow, but there's one plus side to that. A little bit of snow lights up the place enormously. That I like. Still would rather have palm trees every day and warm to hot weather all year round.

And a little confession to finish.. I have started to dislike xmas. I mean I still love the food and the presents and the basic idea. But the stress! People demand so much of me and there's absolutely nothing I can do to make everyone happy. Someone will automatically be disappointed and I have to deal with the guilt. This year I'm getting a tree and I'm not telling R. He's going to know when he sees it on the balcony. He's not going to ruin my xmas this year. At least I'll have a tree even if nothing else is perfect.. Or the way I like it.. What I'd really like is to go abroad or to a spa or something for the holidays. To avoid all that stuff. That or to have xmas my way.. Oh well I guess I can never win..

dreamin'

2009-11-30T11:30:00.002+02:00

I've been watching a lot of Scrubs lately(It's a brilliant show btw). It has brought back something that has been on my mind on and off for some time now. I wish I had a best friend too. Like Turk&JD. They are each others best buds and do a lot of things together and tell each other everything. Very close. I'm jealous of that.

I used to have a bff but I suppose life got in the way. We're still good friends, don't get me wrong, but it's not like it was back in the old days. We have this group of 5 best friends. And we've been friends since the 5th grade or so but we're a team. It's not the same.

I don't make friends easily. It takes time to build the trust and since it is a long process it's hard to find someone who'd be so much on the same page.

I think I've spent too much time alone. So used to my own company not to be able to deal with others and have a healthy self-esteem.

yum

2009-11-17T19:29:00.001+02:00

Deicious quiche. Quite low fat, but eaten too much of it. If I were to eat more ready-made dishes, I'd eat much less since it's never as good. Only unhealthy. So I guess I can't win. :(

worried

2009-10-29T18:06:00.002+02:00

1. I am a bit worried that my gym membership won't end on Saturday after all. Even though I told the lady at the reception that I want out and she said she'll contact invoicing. I hope I'm worrying for nothing.
2. I was worried coz I hadn't seen my friend, the squirrel for a few days. The last time I saw him(I decided it's a him, since it's impossible to tell) he was crossing the road with another squirrel and I get scared each time I see squirrels or cats or some other cute animals crossing roads. But today I met Ossi the squirrel again. He saw me, then he ran to me and then he ran back. Must have been disappointed I didn't have any food for him.

My upper back hurts. It hurts a lot!! Probably should excersice a bit but I can't get myself to do anything. And my wrist hurts again too. It's been pain free for about 6 years and I thought it was cured. Of course this could be for some other reason, but it still makes me wonder.

wig party tomorrow!!

free chocolate

2009-10-08T16:37:00.002+03:00

Today I almost forgot the mustard tasting I had promised to attend. I got this email on Monday asking if I'd be interested in taking part of this mustard thing. I totally forgot all about it. Then luckily I bought food from where I was supposed to. And as I was walking away I noticed a woman with some papers standing by the wall. Then I remembered. I went to her and said something about coming to taste the --- blueberries?!? wtf? I remembered mustard, but I couldn't remember what it is in Finnish right there and then. So I said mustikoita.. Sinappi just seemed like a too difficult word to remember at that time. This happens to me sometimes. I suddenly can't remember some words or expressions in Finnish. I mean I remember them in English, but.. My bf doesn't always (if ever) believe when I say: I know what it means, I just can't translate it. Sometimes it's the easiest words.. He asked me what is 'individually' and my first instinct was that this is easy, you can't really be serious. Then it took me the rest of the day to remember the translation. There must be something seriously wrong with the language center of my brain.
But to explain the heading: I got free chocolate as a thank you for participating in that mustard study.

a black cloud over our weekend plans

2009-10-01T10:32:00.002+03:00

Just when it seemed everything was ok. We were no longer carless, had no trouble choosing the foods and the drinks and everything was going smoothly. Then everything went wrong. People are mad at each other for money. I must admit I'm a bit pissed off too. I fear this will have a negative influence on our weekend. I just want everyone to calm down and forget the troubles, but I fear it's not possible. I fear the angry messages will continue, making us more and more mad at each other and then the whole thing won't happen. I need something good to happen - or actually excellent. Something to really cheer me up. But with my luck it will never happen.
Might go donate blood after work. Unless I get a terrible headache.. I feel it might be coming, so..
Good thing it's almost lunch time.

oh boy

2009-09-27T19:38:00.002+03:00

I feel quite awful. My bf talked me into getting a pizza. I've been trying to stay away from unhealthy fast food but this time I gave in. Figured if I have nothing else it should be fine. Only it isn't. I'm feeling most uncomfortable and burby. We need a bigger couch, so we can both lie on it at the same time..
I must go try Latin Fever tomorrow. I went for beginners Latin Fever on Friday but since it's only on friday's and of the 5 weeks i'm still a member, I'm going to miss 3 Fridays because of different plans. It's quite rare, I mean I usually never have any plans for the weekend. October is different. Now I'm getting side-tracked.. I'm a little worried the Mondays Latin Fever'll be too difficult and everyone there'll be really good. On the other hand the beginners class was a bit too easy.. Who knows maybe this Monday class will be just my level and I'll love it too much and want to go every week and then be in trouble when I have to quit since I can't commit to a 13 month contract.

Girls weekend next weekend. Some of them want a healthy weekend, no boozing but jogging and such and one apparently doesn't know the others plans of being alcohol free. I'm not too keen on the idea of being sober all weekend. Although I'm not hoping to get wasted and hangovery. We'll see what happens.

But right now I wish I didn't feel like this. Hope I can remember this feeling the next time pizza is an option.

in the lobby again...

2009-09-01T08:45:00.003+03:00

Good thing it's only for today.
I ordered a jacket from H&M, it should arrive in three weeks. It probably doesn't fit or it'll just looks weird. It's also very expensive. Well, at least expensive to me. But I'm not very good at shopping at stores. I've never been able to find fitting shoes online, so those I'll have to buy from an actual store. I'm going to my local today after work. Yesterday I found a prefectly nice pair of black skater shoes, but they were on the men's department. That bothered me enough to leave them there.
I'm not an enthusiastic shopper. I own one pair of jeans, two pairs of worn out sneakers and one sports coat, which is the only coat for this weather that I have.
Shopping for books, music or dvd's is easier for me. I spend more on books than I do on clothes each year. And it shows. I never have anything nice to wear. I dislike most of the items in my wardrobe. But I get frustrated each time I go shopping for clothes. Everything looks hideous on me. I end up buying nothing. I'd probably need a personal shopper, someone to go shopping with me, someone with a good eye.

I want NCIS season 5!!!

The summer is now over :(

2009-08-29T00:43:00.003+03:00

This has been the last day of my summer vacation. Although I still have the weekend before going back to work (which I'm so not looking forward to). It went by too fast. I had big plans for the time and I only got to do one of them and that was the Barcelona trip.

By the way, I was nervous they'd only speak catalan in there and I'd understand nothing, but it turned out most of them spoke spanish. Every restaurant(especially the fast food places) had menus in catalan only. You could see catalan is the official language there. As far as I could tell, people spoke castellano(that's spanish) or bad english. There was this one place though, somewhere in Barri Gothic or the place next to it.. ribera? a small bar where we went for tapas one afternoon during siesta. I think the woman there might have been speaking catalan. I'm not sure, but..

This last week I spent feeling ill. First I had a throat ache for a few days then it went away and my nose started running. Didn't have fever but occasionally I was sweating a lot. Then it all stopped suddenly. It was weird.

Last week was my birthday week. I wanted to do something special since it was after all an important birthday, 25 years. And because I pretty much missed my twentieth. Must say it was better than the 20th but not by much. I spent it alone mostly, went to the spy museum and classic american diner for lunch. Walked around the "city" a bit and was bored and came back home. I got nice presents from my bf and my mom. Mom's the only one who sent me a card. I suppose people think I'm old now. I got lots of facebook congratulations but..

I dunno what to say anymore. I want to see one more ncis episode before this shuts down from lack of power..

Barcelona!!

2009-08-29T00:11:00.003+03:00

I do apologize for forgetting to write about our trip.
I loved Bcn. It's a nice big city. Perfect weather. Absolutely fantastic sea beaches, with amazingly clear, warm water and no jelly fish. Brilliant. Lively city. I must say thanks to the huge number of tourists. Many of the locals took siesta every day around 2-4pm. They closed their businesses to go home for lunch or whatever.

It's a very clean city. BCNeta trucks cleaning streets and emptying dumpsters 24/7.Although one night we saw rats hanging under some dumpsters. Tried to take a pic but it was too dark.

Surprisingly few grocery stores there, at least in the city center and even those were rather small and mostly run by asians. Our street had one every 30 feet but elsewhere not so much. On the last full day we found the biggest and even that was on the bottom floor of a department store (El Corte Ingles). I loved it. There was a huge selection of alcohol and it was cheap. I wish I'd had money and time and healthy feet to go around the entire grocery section. I suppose I'm weird that way, I like to go to grocery stores when I travel.

We checked 2 night clubs while we were down there. First one was recommended by the arabic bartender at 'bar muy buena'. A salsa club(Antilla). He gave us a card of the place. Turned out the address on the card was false. Took some work finding the place but we did eventually. It was a strange place. You didn't pay an entrance fee. They gave us each a red card (actually only 2 at first but then J went to ask for one more) and you couldn't leave unless you had a green card. A green card you got by buying a drink at the bar. I paid 9e for baileys!! It was a big glass but still. I loved the music. Latin rhythms. A&J didn't like it. Some dude even asked me to dance, I said no since I am terrible at couples dances and everyone else seemed to be really good. We left quite soon.
The second one was a few nights later. The Moog. It was mentioned on the travel book we had. It cost a fortune to get in(10e) and the music was horrible. It was a stereotypical night club with horrible trance-house or whateveritis music. It was so crowded it was hard to move. I hated that place. After we got out of there, my friends were still willing to go to another night club or the beach. My feet were killing me, I could barely stand up(No, I wasn't drunk. Only had 2 ciders and 2 interesting shots at the rock bar(where the bartender, who hadnt paid any attention to me all night, suddenly called me his future wife!?!)). My friends were drunk. They got into a fight with each other, left me alone in the middle of the night in the Rambla. Not the best of ideas. But it was either that or continue following them with my broken feet, so I headed back to the hotel. 3 guys offered to go home with me on the way. This was all in Las Ramblas, it got calmer after that. But since it was something like 3am and I was a girl alone in a short dress I decided to walk via big streets, even though it was a bit longer route and my feet were killing me. I got back to the hotel just fine.

We must have walked at least 16 miles each day. Our hotel was perfectly located. A short walking distance to las ramblas and the plaza de catalunya and a metro station. We walked around a lot. Took strolls in the real Barcelona, where the locals live and where there was no tourists.

I think I got a bit carried away. I'll tell more later when I have time and think of something new to tell. Feel free to suggest and ask.

Grrrr!

2009-07-08T09:50:00.001+03:00

My boss is fine, mostly. But when she has a bad day.. oh boy.. She makes everyone around her miserable. Complains about everything. She made me so angry yesterday that I decided to buy chocolate to make me feel better. It didn't help. So I chose alcohol. Few Bailey's and four or so glasses of white wine made me feel better. I didn't care I had to be at work at 6:15am the next day. We watched South Park on DVD and ate pizza and drank wine. It was fun. But not too fun.. Felt fine, yet tired, when I woke up.. But I'm still pissed off and I don't even want to see her. I sent my colleague to the kitchen coz I really don't want to go and I can't think of anything to do to excuse no one not going. I was counting on the invoices, I thought they'd come today. Lots and lots of invoices to keep me busy all day. But maybe tomorrow

I'm going to get my passport photo taken today. I bet it's going to be horrible but whose isn't? And on Friday I have an appointment for the passport application. Need to be ready to travel wherever we decide next week.

oh no

2009-07-03T10:38:00.002+03:00

I just realized I only have one posting week all month. Which basically means I can sleep longer but also that I have to deal with people and their stupid questions and helplessness. Why does everyone expect us to know everything? Just coz we sit here in the lobby or the "info" as some call it(not us) we're not informed about everything. Besides we're usually the last to know about any changes. It's frustrating. 4 more weeks I have to stand, then it's time for my vacation :) Can't wait.

I'm not one bit jealous of those you start their vacations today. It's raining now. It's going to be cold and cloudy next week. Not the ideal vacation weather.

but onto something more positive. or at least a bit more positive. I had a semi-nice dream last night. It's good to have such dreams, they keep me feeling good for hours after waking up. Although so much unpleasant has already happened, so the effect of the dream is fading away :(

Don't ask what it was about, I'm not going to tell, but it's what you think ;)

How did the days get so long?

2009-06-24T12:21:00.001+03:00

Third day in a row, at work, feeling like one work day is as long as two work days were still last week.. Maybe it's because of the wonderful weather. Sunshine outside and I'm stuck inside for the best part of the day.
I'm hoping all this weather will make the strawberries grow happily and fast so we'd get good, cheap berries soon.
Unfortunately my next month is full of 8 or 8,25 h days and not the normal 7,5.. Long days.. At least I get 2 full days off as well. and in six more weeks, actually more like 5 weeks and 2 days, it's vacation time for me. With my luck the weather will go bad come August and stay bad all month.

the best juhannus ever!!

2009-06-22T13:23:00.002+03:00

I had so much fun.
Although it might have been the very first time I had plans for the weekend. And we had so much fun. It was a great group of 6. It would have been a shame if there had been someone who doesnt like karaoke, alcohol and board games.
On Friday we got up around 6:30 am and some of us stayed up until around 2:30 am. Long fun day it was.
Saturday was a bit dull, mostly anyway since it was all rain. Everyone was tired all day.
On Sunday I managed to get sun burned. My right arm is all red and achy. It came from sitting in the harbor at the pizza place.
I wouldnt have wanted to go home and end the weekend but at the same time I wanted to go home to my honey and my cats. And I most certainly wasnt ready to come back to work this morning. This is just too much. I can barely keep my eyes open. 2 hours of this I have to last. and then 4 more day. six more weeks..

Juhannus is just around the corner!

2009-06-16T10:48:00.003+03:00

Wohoo!
I've really been waiting for it, since for the first time in ages I have real plans for it. My friends and I are going to my mom's.
Yesterday, 3 days before "take-off" we ran into trouble. Big trouble. No car. We were counting on A&J getting the car for the weekend but now we learned it's not going to happen. Just my luck.
I started to panic and even asked a car rental place how much would it cost to rent a car. But apparently the panic is over and we're getting a car. Although sometime in the evening on Thursday so we'll be there very late. Unless. there's a possibility that I have to drive one car over there, so that would mean we'd have 2 cars going there and that would mean that some of us could go in the afternoon as planned. S&J could follow us when they get their car, I could fix up a good map for them or they could drive on Friday morning and meet us at the market in Kuopio on Friday around 11-ish?
I suppose I'll have to develop some patience and wait to hear how late they get the car and so on.. And stop stressing.

something interesting

2009-05-29T15:21:00.002+03:00

I just met Anssi Koivuranta and Sanni Leinonen.
For those who don't know them, they're a world champion and a world champion-to-be.

Not a very egoboosting to see her, all skinny and pretty and then see my own reflection in the window.
Makes me feel so fat and ugly and failure.

But on the positive note, this is a wonderful, sunny day. Not very hot, but we'll get there tomorrow and sunday. Perfect day to hit a terrace with a friend and a few ciders :)

Great

2009-05-22T18:26:00.002+03:00

I spent three hours in Eden. Tried pretty much everything. Cold water pool twice(actually went up to my neck in that freezing water), outdoor pool three times, turkish sauna, roman sauna. three sets of waves. Spent most of the time climbing stairs to slides. I don't feel older than 10 or so, at least not when I'm in a place like that. I was happy to see even older people than me using the slides regularly. Didn't make me feel so old. I went alone and spent 3 hours! Not too bad
Saw BB-Johan. haha. Working there as a lifeguard.
Then 2 hours in Tesoma. Dad called and asked for a loan for a week and I said ok if you change the lights to the car. I had just bought new lights for it before Eden and was supposed to change them.. It was so lucky dad called me today of all days.
He also checked that everything works so it should be fine now.
I was told that back in the 80s I used to know all the makes (and perhaps even models) of all the passing cars. Daddy also promised he'd buy me a C30 if he wins the lotto.
I had breakfast at around 10am, it's now 6pm and a bit more and I've only had 2 ice creams all day. Plus the soup I'm having now.
All and all a pretty awsome day
ps. I suppose I should be flattered when they still ask for my ID when I buy wine.. Haven't been 18 for ages

there's nothing serious wrong with me

2009-05-15T08:21:00.002+03:00

at least that's what the doctor said. It's most likely my neck. Said a couple more massages should help. But massages are too expensive. I'll try to open the locks myself. Rolling the stick and walking and so on. Should be fine. Feeling better already. Can't say if it's because I don't have to worry about it or because I walked a little right after the doctor's.

not feeling alright

2009-05-12T14:44:00.002+03:00

I've been feeling a bit uncomfortable for some time now.
actually I dont know what more to say.

I'm so boooored..

2009-04-30T14:44:00.002+03:00

It's Vappu!!

But I'm stuck at work. At least for another hour and I have nothing to do. Just watching people get off with a smile. Start their celebrations.

I believe this is going to be a rather boring vappu again, but still.

I have free doughnuts, meatballs, cream potatoes and lingonberry quark. Don't need to buy too much food, can take my money to Alko :D

Although I*m not going anywhere I'm still going to dig out my 'ylioppilaslakki' and put it on. It's just turning yellow in its box all year. Perhaps I'll add a photo later.

55 minutes.

I'd like to have fun in a crowd of good friends. But that's not possible.

At least the sun is shining. It makes the cold less horrible.

If I'd find something good to listen to at least.

It really sucks to sit here when there's no one to talk to or no project to keep me busy or a game to keep me interested.

I guess I'll just keep on being bored for the next 50 minutes.

LONDON HERE WE COME!

2009-04-27T09:53:00.003+03:00

Last weekend. The most wonderful weather of all year, so far, I went out 'pussikaljalle' with friends and we decided to go to London in August since we're on vacation at the same time. I've spent most of this morning checking flight prices and hostels.

A problem has occured. They want to go on the first week so they'd have plenty of time for holidaying in Finland after, before going back to work. I on the otherhand don't want it to be on the first week coz it's the only week I have vacation with my bf. And knowing him, he's never going to want to come with us :(

We'll see how this goes

a good day

2009-04-09T12:08:00.003+03:00

Today I don't hate work.

I get to be alone in posting listening to fabulous music(quite loud). Not too hectic and not too boring. Although now at noon I'm finished. I've enveloped everything, francked it and I even called and ordered a printer color. One thing still needs to be done and that is to drink another bottle of water. I'm trying to get at least a litre per day. This is day 2. I am really the worst water drinker. But I don't drink much of anything else either. Trying to fix that.

Good lunch. Lots of chicken(chicken breast and chicken salad) and light orange pasha.

Oh I almost forgot. The music. My new ABBA album. The Visitors. Just getting to listen to it for real for the first time and I'm loving it. Glad I bought it.

After work I'm going on a Baked Alaska hunt. Chocolate Macadamia is available nearly everywhere but not Alaska. Just my luck. Going to see if Prisma has it. Also get the easter Kinder's and see how much it would cost to have a washing machine delivered if I bought if from there. Who knows I might even buy it!

Yawn

2009-04-02T09:42:00.003+03:00

I'm not awake yet. I've been working for 2 hours and it's been a busy morning but still I'm not awake yet. I just feel so exhausted. I really would need a break. A proper one. Not just sitting at home like I always do.

I suppose the main reason why I blog so rarely is that nothing ever happens!! Every day is pretty much the same.

Yesterday I went to 'Hullut Päivät' with a shopping list. All of the items on the list were either sold out ages ago or not available at all. I managed to spend less than 10 e. I didn't even get a book. There was only one interesting book and I already have it.. All the pillows were gone.

Didn't even go to 'Miinus viirus', figured it would just be a waste of time. I won't find anything.

2 new Ben&Jerry's flavors were supposed to have come to the stores yesterday (according to one website) I checked five places and none of them had those. b&j's own website doesn't mention them at all. What does "in the beginning of April" mean? first week? second week? within the first 15 days? Somebody give me a bit more details!

Wohoo!!

2009-03-18T08:40:00.002+02:00

just as I anticipated the new version of iPhone (or rather the OS) coming this summer has the MMS possibility I wanted. This means I am closer to getting the phone. Only my phone and iPod are still working fine. And my job is rather sucky (in more than just salarywise) so I need a better job that pays well. Like the police college one. But it's been too long. I don't think I'll be hearing from them. It was almost a week ago when the application period ended.

Why doesn't anything good ever happen to me??!?

private health care

2009-03-17T09:33:00.003+02:00

One of my teeth is aching when I drink cold water. It has made me think about going to see a private dentist. I'm actually not that far yet. Just playing with the idea in my head in case it gets that bad.

One more thing. I have a big mole on my nose. It's high but it's light. I want to get rid of it before it gives me cancer.

It would have to be done by laser and that probably costs too much. Or we'll see. I've asked my friend, who works in a place that could do that, how much it costs. Just waiting to hear the scary truth.

Yawn

2009-03-16T08:51:00.004+02:00

In the lobby again.

These are the longest weeks. I have to think of something to entertain myself all day everyday. I just don't have any ideas yet.

I felt full of inspiration just before I started writing this post. Now I have nothing. Why is that?

I'm hoping this means spring now. Day temp should be above zero all week. Snow should be melting down.

My neck is killing me.

It was my friend's 25th birthday party yesterday. It was just like birthday parties were when we were in elementary school. No alcohol. Cake and same games we used to play. Oh the cake was absolutely delicious. I was a bit worried at first when I saw it was dark on the inside. I'm not a very big fan of chocolate cake. But it didn't taste like chocolate cake. It was so delicious, so soft. And the pies. Looked a bit scary at first. All sorts of veggies in them but they were so good.

I couldn't stop eating. It's not everyday you get such fantastic things in your mouth.

So today I'm going for the tuna salad at lunch. And muesli with vanilla yoghurt.

I wish we'd get the new work clothes soon. I am sick of this dark blue. It doesn't suit me at all. I hear the new stuff'll be mostly black. I can do black. Black is fine with me. Although I don't want them to come too quickly. I want to be able to fit in smaller sizes. I don't want them to be too big for me too soon. (notice the wishful thinking)

I don't think i'll be hearing from the police college. I just feel it. My application wasn't good enough. I can't write a good one. No matter how many times I try. Maybe I should have called too. But I still don't know what to say. And now the phone numbers are gone..

I guess luck just isn't my thing.

blah..

2009-03-13T11:23:00.003+02:00

yesterday was fun. 4,5 hours at work and a whole day free, sort of. I was home by 11:10am.

I watched a lot of tv. Now I only have 2 episodes of NCIS 3 left. Feeling a bit sad. I've seen 4, but I'm going to continue with that anyway.

It's weird how a show can affect me. It was shocking when Kate died, even when I knew it was going to happen. And the next episode was so sad. I miss Kate. And then when Abby was in danger I was really scared. I could feel the panic she would have felt if it would have been a real situation. I just love all the characters. They are all so great in their own unique way.

That's why it's a huge shame that seasons 5&6 are not available in Europe yet. I wouldn't be prepared to pay too much anyway, so I s'pose I just have to be patient and wait..

10 days to weighing day. I need to have lost 4 pound or I'll be super mad. If it's more it's just great, but I'm worried it won't be anything at all. I don't know what I'll do if that's the case.

And to make me feel worse I've been really really wanting candy lately. Yesterday I ate my xmas cookies to make me feel better, which of course didn't make me feel better but got me out of the candy idea for the rest of the day.

I'm so tired I could fall asleep right here, right now. Which of course is not a very good idea. I'm supposed to be a customer servant, the face of the company. The first thing people see when they walk in. (A good reason to want another job, wouldn't you agree?)

Yesterday was the last day to apply for the police college job. I hope they'll read mine and consider me. I thought about calling there but I couldn't figure out what to say. Telephone is not my strongest form of communication. I doubt I could have made a good impression of me on the phone. At least the application said very clearly how interested I am. At least I hope who ever reads it gets that impression.

But now I found an interesting game on FB, need to try it. so byebye for now

no more l.i.i.t.s to me

2009-03-09T10:53:00.002+02:00

So out on Sat. As we were getting ready and choosing my clothes I found my wig. I put it on and left it on :) It was hot and I felt like I had a hat on, but at least I didn't have to put it with my own hair.

We decided on karaoke! That was a fun idea. It's been so long since the last time. We sang 4 songs. Not very well I might add :) But we had fun.

After that to Huuma. It was only 3e in and when we arrived there was only 5 people there..

An ok place. Music wasn't excellent but with all those long island ice teas it was more than fine.

So guy came up to me, asked if I was local and wether I was single, or married or taken or what. He wanted my phone number. Wow! But when he found out I was taken he backed off. Good boy.

sort of nice. I didn't look very much like me with the wig and all but it was quite nice. A small ego boost. I was very drunk. It's all a bit blurry..

But I have to say it was brilliant not having to take a bus or taxi home. And I didn't spend much money at all. Also very good since I don't have much money and now the work shoes arrived, and I have to pay those.

long long week

2009-03-06T13:35:00.002+02:00

It's Friday. around one thirty pm. Feels like the longest week and day.. Over two hours left of work and I've no idea how to entertain myself.

Then I promised my friend we'd go clubbing tomorrow. I just wish it won't turn out to be anything like the last time we went out. It was too crazy. Can't spend too much money. Don't have very much.

I'm just so tired now, I'm not really looking forward to it..

I don't know what to say now. No wonder it's been so long since the last time. I'm spending so much time with the other blog I don't have energy for this one.

But I'll keep trying. This is MY blog anyway

Zzzzzzzzz

2009-02-19T08:26:00.002+02:00

I want to go back to sleep.

I was in a middle of a very weird dream when the alarm went off. Now I feel I can hardly keep my eyes open.

I have over 7 hours of nothing ahead of me. I'm not very happy about that.

And I miss my NCIS dvd box. I just want to watch it. It's good. It's actually really good. The more I watch the more I love it. And the characters are just so brilliant. At first the characters seemed too weird for me, but it's all changed now.

I am working on a family tree project again. Now I'm making a tree online. Using the info I've got. People have stopped filling my form so that project is on ice for now.

100!

2009-02-05T18:38:00.002+02:00

I've been saving this post until I had something worth telling about. After all 100 posts is a milestone, dont you think?

I've been feeling bad lately. Not ill but uneasy. Even had this weird Revolutionary Road moment walking to the bus stop after work.
I just feel tired. Tired of this boring life of mine. I just wish we could pack up and move to Cuba or some place warm with lots of palm trees. Just go salsa dancing and sunbathing everyday without a care in the world.
All my days are pretty much the same.

I'm hoping to go skiing tomorrow or some day of this week. It would be 31 euros in Tampereen rinteet. I just need someone to go with me. R said he'd go but he doesn't know how to ski. So I'm not counting on that too much.

I bought the first season of NCIS and I'm loving it. I suppose this Cuba idea is based on one episode I just saw yesterday. I'd like to get the rest of the seasons but I've decided to wait until they're cheaper.

And something weird. For a brief moment there I thought I wouldn't get the iPhone next but Nokia 5800 or Samsung touchwiz. But that lasted for about a day or two. Then I read about these rumors that there might be coming a new version of iPhone in June. Have to wait and see. And there's still nothing wrong with my current phone or my iPod.

I've changed my eating habits totally. It's amazing how easy it has been. Now let's hope I get to see some results soonish.

And I just have to say. I HATE WINTER! I would be perfectly happy surrounded with palm trees and summer all year round.

what a night

2009-01-31T20:00:00.002+02:00

it was crazy. stayed in apollo till we were kicked out when they were closing. i'm just glad there was no one i knew. our dancing was a bit... provocative

but the Thai food.. it was fantastic

I was given a task

2009-01-30T09:27:00.002+02:00

They gave me the job to book the 2 work shoe companies to come and show us their selection. Now it is done. They will both be here at the same time in 2 weeks. I haven't told the other company that there'll be competition present.

Now I can't decide if I should call her and let her know or just let her find out at that time.

Any advice?

My order

2009-01-29T08:04:00.002+02:00

I was so worried that I'd like all of the items and I'd have to buy them all.. Turns out most of the shoes were bad for my feet and one of the shirts wasn't all that great either. So I sent most of them back.

I kept the 4e tops. They were cheap enough, although the material is rather crappy. Then I kept the Esprit shirt. It was ok, not perfect but.. And then I wanted to keep the running shoes but they were too big. Luckily they weren't last season's model so I could change them for half-a-size smaller.

They promised me they'd be here tomorrow. Or the earliest would be tomorrow. We'll see. I just wish if I pay extra for an express delivery it would really come as fast as they say.

But tomorrow is girl's night out. Thai food and dancing.

a comment about the 25 things

2009-01-27T10:52:00.002+02:00

A and S said in their 25 things something about listening to same artist for ages at a time. I do that too sometimes. Either some artist i've recently gotten excited about or music type. Usually for about 2 weeks straight. If it's a type of music then it might last longer.

Then after a while when listening to that same stuff again it brings back memories and feelings.

Like Gabriella Cilmi's Sweet About Me. I haven't heard it since last summer. It made me feel like I did back then.

But it doesn't work like that forever. Eventually I will listen to it again and again and the first memories faint.

Or I used to listen to something while doing something. And then when doing that again felt weird without the right kind of music.

blah blah

2009-01-27T10:50:00.001+02:00

I actually like my hair. Oh and my lips. The rest of me is not so good.

I managed to find something positive I can say about myself. wohoo!

I'm really really really hungry. I need to go to lunch. Please someone let me!!

Murr!

2009-01-27T10:46:00.002+02:00

Just my luck.. The order I've been expecting forever now arrived yesterday. But I didn't know that. Coz only about 5 minutes ago that information came available. I was at that post office yesterday after its arrival, I could have taken it with me. I could have spent last night trying on my new things. But no! Grrrr

aargh

2009-01-27T08:11:00.003+02:00

My patience has been pushed to the limit. I cannot believe long it can take for one parcel to travel for about 150 kms. It has been lying there in the posting center for nearly 4 full days now. And there I was foolishly thinking that since it arrived there on Friday it would be here on Monday. Silly me.

Today I have different music. Amy Pearson & Winehouse, some Metallica, Sugarland, Anna Eriksson, Sandi Thom and Stockard Channing.

Nothing interesting

My life as an unemployed athlete

New Year

Bothers me a bit

New glasses

Buzzador duties with fond du chef

thoughts

new life

hmm

Cute

Grrrr

:/

Planning 2 trips abroad!

Mi vida.

Tuesday

lazy blogger

disturbing

Tallinn

*Yawn*

solar powered

:D

things that make me happy pt 1

Summer is here

I am going to try to define myself again..

Set a goal

"Awesome"

you know what?

Μισώ τη βροχή

Buzzador duties

Loucas Yiorkas

Alex Sparrow

Anybody know the song that's playing around minute 6?

My problem

αννικα

Dreamworld

Missing..

suddenly got the urge to learn Greek..

ESC 2011

I feel like I should say something..

sentences I've never heard in my entire life pt1:

It's been a while again

Perfect

parteeh

Back in the day and more

Dreamin'

hmm

More fun

Fun FUN FUN!!

Dreams

I need more friends

Just to let you know

..

blog-day

what can i say?

yawn

Slow....

grrr

sommaren

It's been a while

skiing

Tempo makes a good day

Can't wait for this season to end

dreamin'

yum

worried

free chocolate

a black cloud over our weekend plans

oh boy

in the lobby again...

The summer is now over :(

Barcelona!!

Grrrr!

oh no

How did the days get so long?

the best juhannus ever!!

Juhannus is just around the corner!

something interesting

Great

there's nothing serious wrong with me

not feeling alright

Yawn